Walking your dog should involve actual walking, FOR THE DOG. But sorry about the crow, I really thought it would choose the sausage.
Living in Yaletown I’ve gotten used to the sight of strollers that are just as likely to be carrying a dog as a child. I judge them, but I’ve grown accustomed to what I assumed was a cultural phenomenon in my little piece of Vancouver.
Before you berate me for judging, these dogs aren’t late-in-life (read old and crippled) creatures being taken out for fresh air by their loving and possibly overindulgent owners. They’re inbred fur babies (often wearing more expensive jewelry than their people). And, while they’re so tiny that walking for ten blocks would exhausted them and put them at risk of being whisked away by a particularly hungry crow, they could probably walk.
I didn’t think accepting the stroller puppy phenomenon was a bad thing. After all my (and everyone else’s) acceptance of this oddity wasn’t likely to cause a breakdown in society…and I was doing my duty with my silent judging. Then I saw something that changed my mind; stroller kitty.
Now admittedly the cat, stroller and who I can only assume was the cat’s caregiver were in the downtown east side so there is a possibility that there were mental health issues involved, or that maybe the cat’s owner was, I don’t know, taking it to the vet and didn’t have a car. But there is the equal possibility they were just going for a walk and I’m going out on a limb with this one. Cats in strollers is one step too far.
What if someone from Yaletown, drove by and saw the stroller kitty and was all “what a great idea”? The sidewalks are already crowded enough with canines on wheels and people that can’t figure out basic umbrella etiquette (tilt when you pass people for the love of all…) But cats in strollers?
No. Just, no.
The next time I see a healthy dog in a stroller I’m going to be part of the solution. Me and a pound of raw sausage are going to see just how far a stroller puppy can run… Sorry in advance if it’s your dog…and if a hungry crow gets it. I promise to throw a sausage at the crow.
Writing Exercise:
What other uses could you find for a pound of raw sausage? And how would you explain the smell?
I plan on randomly sniffing other people and loudly asking “does anyone smell that”? Then I’ll just keep moving, they’ll never know it’s me…until I throw the sausage for a dog…then they might know it’s me but they’ll be too busy watching a crow carry away a chihuahua and a pound sausage to notice the smell. (Genius.)
Happy writing.
