In a sick twist of fate, or circumstance, or divine mockery, I was home for two days before being sent to Edmonton on business.
I tried to suggest that I could give the training virtually but apparently I’m invaluable. Or, my boss was getting even with me for going on the best vacation ever when she had to stay home.
Turns out it was neither. The real reason I was sent to Edmonton? I’m being tested. I arrived at my hotel to find a sea of stetsons and sign welcoming the Canadian Rodeo Championships. Seriously. Cowboys. I then spent three days riding in elevators with cut, abdominally triangular men whose job is to cling desperately to a bull with their thighs. WITH. THEIR. THIGHS.
“I will not grope a stranger. I will not grope a stranger. I will not grope a stranger.”
What’s next Universe? A firefighting convention? I only have so much self control.
“I’m happily married. I’m happily married. I’m…chaps!”
PS. While I was in Edmonton I witnessed an actual bar fight. I had to jump out of the way of a falling drunk. The police came and the bouncer ended up with a huge lump on his head. It was scary and it wasn’t even the scariest thing that happened that night. I’m not sure I love Edmonton.
PPS. Bouncers who’ve just had their asses kicked aren’t as appreciative as you’d expect when you offer to tell the police what happened during their beating.
Writing Exercise:
I have a weakness for men that I’m sure would make horrible husbands for me. (Cowboys for example. I’m allergic to cows, horses and hay.) Thankfully I also had (and have) a weakness for a man who makes an excellent husband. What’s your weakness? Are you being tested?
