Me. After learning my painful how-to-keep-bullets-out-of-your-cleavage lesson.
I threw a zombie survival 40th birthday party for my sister.
First we went to the gun range. Because seriously if the first time you’ve picked up a gun is during the apocalypse then you’re not planning ahead.
We shot at zombie targets and my sister got to use a shotgun and handguns. (She is officially ready in the apocalypse…if she happens to find pre loaded guns while fleeing the hoard.)
I’m totally ready too. Not only did I get to try the guns, but the gun safety guy showed me how to hold the gun so the casings wouldn’t fall down me shirt and brand my breasts.
He was super professional. When hot copper ejected directly into my bra and I was jumping around trying to keep my handgun pointed down range while I shook a the burny bullet casing out of my cleavage, he just calmly stepped up and took the gun from me so I could finish my little dance. Kudos gun guy.
Red velvet cake…because there weren’t enough things that looked like blood. The hand print was just my hand dipped in red food colouring. (My palms were red for two days.)
Brain cupcakes. The top is fondant and the bloody interior is cherry pie filling. They were super good if you closed your eyes while you ate them.
After the burning stopped my zombie target didn’t stand a chance. I may be biased, but I think my cluster of head shots was the best of all three of us (and really with zombie targets, it’s only the head shots that count right)?
Then we went home and ate dehydrated camping meals (rehydrated into somewhat tasteless mush), brain cupcakes and a red velvet (because it looked like blood) cake and played the walking dead board game. Fun was had by all, or at least by my sister and I and really we were the ones who counted right? (I have to keep telling myself that because for some reason my shots lower in the body were less…precise. I really don’t want to think about why.)
Writing Exercise:
Do you ever practice your apocalypse skills? Do you ever watch Doomsday Preppers? Do you judge me for answering yes to both of those statements?
Pretend you don’t (just for a second) and write about it.
