At church today the homily was about how Jesus was just like us, except for the sin part because he was perfect.
Basically Jesus is like the kid down the block that could play oboe at 6, never talked back and always got straight As, even when math started being about letters. (Seriously…how is X ever anything but X?) Thanks. No pressure.
But at least the take-away was simple. Jesus = perfect.
No sin. Gotcha.
Then it got confusing. They trotted out the whole life story of Jesus, leading up to the big Easter event. (The rising from the dead miracle part, not the rabbit that somehow lays eggs part.)
The priest was all, “Jesus was born, did some stuff, got baptized, made a mess of a temple…”
And I was all, “Wait, baptized? Ummm, if he was perfect and without sin, why did he need to get baptized?”.
Because I’ve learned my lesson, I didn’t put my hand up and ask. (That totally doesn’t go well.) I waited patiently to ask my much more theologically experienced in-laws over Easter breakfast. (I’m full of fun conversation topics.) Cut to awkward silence. “Pass the ham please.” I’m super popular there.
So I decided to do what all curious minds do, get their husband to Google the answer on the drive home. What did we do before Google?
Apparently there are two leading theories about why Jesus got baptized. One is marketing. (Biblical times product placement.)
Hypothetical Jesus: “Hey John, I like this baptism thing you’ve started.”
Hypothetical John: “Thanks, Jesus. But I’m worried it won’t really take off. Big fan, by the way.”
Hypothetical Jesus: “Thanks. I try.”
Hypothetical John: “Hey, your fan base seems pretty big. What are you doing this afternoon?”
(Ok, so there’s some conjecture there… ’cause i’s not like I was there, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it went.)
I liked the marketing theory, but I like the second theory even better. Apparently Jesus purified the baptismal water by touching it…just like a Unicorn.
Before you ask, no the biblical scholars haven’t come out and said Jesus is a Unicorn (yet), and I don’t have actual proof that Jesus was a Unicorn. But the circumstantial evidence is pretty solid.
- Jesus, purified the water so it could be used for baptism. – Unicorns use their horn to purify water so the animals can drink.
- Jesus liked virgins. – Unicorns super like virgins.
- Jesus, not so much around in person anymore. – Unicorns, ditto.
My logic is unassailable. (NB. My husband says wild guesses and coincidences aren’t tools of logic. But he also thinks X can equal a number, so…)
Happy Easter.
