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Idiot in Training

Posted by kosturcompose76 on February 22, 2014
Posted in: Writing Exercises.
Code

I once let the magic blue smoke that runs my computer get out. Yet somehow I’m a technology expert.

How is it that after taking an arts degree. Then an arts diploma, I ended up as the tech expert at work?

I’ve been working on a web portal for internal service requests at work. (Sure because why wouldn’t you want the person who flunked one of the only coding classes she ever took in charge of making the intranet work?)  After hours and hours of work, I decided I might need some help from our IT group. (Mistake one.)

Because I know the IT group doesn’t support coding (and I was doing html) I made sure to note that all I wanted was confirmation as to whether or not a feature was being used in the software, and if they knew any way of doing drop down menus without using code.

I managed to get in touch with an uncharacteristically friendly and helpful IT guy who promised to try to help me after he got advice from his mentor because he was in training.

I was amazed. Not only was he helpful, there was actual training going on for this guy…maybe IT was becoming a useful, helpful department. For a few hours after that conversation I had actual hope that I might get help.  I was even excited to see the email system pop-up a message from the IT guy. “Yay, an answer!”  (Mistake two.)

The answer? “My mentor said to tell you we don’t support code.” He then provided a link to their policy on being stupid and unhelpful. (Ok, it may have been a list of unsupported services, but same, same.)

So I replied: “I know. I only need to know if you’ve disabled feature X, LIKE I ASKED.”

The answer? “I don’t know.”

Seriously. That was the answer he had to go and get help to provide. I think the actual help he needed from his mentor was  to suppress the urge to be useful. It just wouldn’t do for them to actually help someone. Can you imagine the president that might set?

Arrrrrrggghhhhhh!

Then the worst part?  After all of that I managed to accidentally make the system work without their help. It’s buggy and not pretty, but it works damn it.  

Sigh.  Part of me wants to break it again just so my status as knower-of-all-things technical won’t be reinforced.

The universe it laughing at me.

Writing Exercise:

I’m starting to think that cynicism is a natural defence mechanism against idiots. If you don’t expect much, you can’t really be disappointed right?

But what if instead of being a cynic, a character had such low expectations that they are constantly in awe of even the most mundane of things. Not cynical angry person, but amazed happy person.  The bus came on time? Wow! The grocery store clerk only bruised three of my six apples going through the checkout? Banner day!

How would the world react to them?  Why did they become this way?

Happy writing.

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