composeconceivecreate

How my hand looks during therapy…probably…I’ve never been brave enough to actually look.

My writs hurts right now and the only consolation is that when I say “It feels like someone is jabbing needles into it” and judgey people are all “don’t be so dramatic” I can be all “no, really, that’s the treatment”.  Then I get to feel superior for a few seconds while they stare blankly trying to decide if I’m crazy in the “run and hid now” way, or just in the “eccentric awkward laugh” kind of way.  Don’t judge,  potentially inappropriate jokes are all I have right now…almost everything I like to do involves an arm that doesn’t need to have needles driven into it once a week.

FYI, the older I get, the more I seem willing to go through pain to get rid of pain.  When I was younger if my doctor had suggested deep muscle acupuncture, to cure what ailed me, I would have:

• Screamed and run away; or,
• Punched the doctor in the throat. (Maybe both.)

But now, as a mature adult I somehow accept the logic that pain will get rid of pain…(Is that a hint of desperation I smell?)  It makes me wonder what I’ll be willing to go through ten or twenty years from now.

Me – Doctor, my toe hurts.  I think I have a hangnail.

Doctor – Ahhh I’ve seen it before, all we need to do is rub all your skin off with sandpaper and that foot pain will clear right up.

Me – Sandpaper?  Won’t that hurt?

Doctor – You may feel some pain, but that pain is really just a sign of healing.

Me – Well, ok….you were right about the acupuncture…

You think that conversation might be far fetched?  This is an actual one I had with physio:

Me – So, I liked the muscle relaxation I got after our last treatment.

Therapist – Good.

Me – But I had a question…I was in some pain for the rest of the week.

Therapist – Some pain is expected.

Me – It felt like someone had punched me in the neck…like a bruise…from a punch to the neck.

Therapist – For the whole week?

Me – Six days.  I was a little concerned I might have meningitis.

Therapist – That’s a valid concern…but it’s just an side effect of the treatment.

Me  – So, no meningitis?

Therapist – Probably not, but we’ll take it easy for this next treatment…it really should only hurt for a few days.

Me – Well, ok then.  As long as it’s not meningitis.

I’m not sure if my willingness to accept pain is some sort of sickness, or just a sign of maturity.  But if it is a sickness, I’m pretty sure there is some sort of painful treatment to cure me.  But hey, silver lining is I probably don’t have meningitis…ok maybe that is more of a bronze lining, or like a “sylver” (registered trademark) lining.

PS. My singing instructor today said I could totally wail. I’m pretty sure that’s a compliment.

PPS.  I just looked it up…totally a compliment.

Writing Exercise:

Life gives us a few gifts as we get older.  We get the gift of clarity (decisions were so confusing when I was a teenager, now I can confidently put down my menu, look up at the waitress and say “ranch please” without any second thoughts).  We also get the gift of patience (I hardly ever stamp my foot and cry when waiting in a long line anymore).  However, it also take a few things away (I sat on the floor for an hour the other day and when I got up everything between my left butt cheek and my left knee had gone to sleep).

Make a list of things you have gained with age.  (Wisdom, independence, a better golf handicap…whatever it is you value.)  Now make a list of the things you miss from your youth.  Than ask yourself…would I trade?  Spend a few minutes free writing about why or why not.  If you have trouble getting started, pretend the trade is non-optional (you must trade two things) and write about the consequences. Happy writing.